_In the middle of the night a few nights ago, I considered the blog post my friend put up and how funny it was. I was a bit surprised by some of the words she used. One word actually. She wrote a new take on an old favorite she titled "A Redneck Christmas". This made me think about the first time one of my children uttered a swear word in public. Please allow me to clarify that my friend, Jennifer Slayden, did not say the same word in her blog that my son said. Oh no, my son uttered the mother of all swear words, the worst one. Yes, you guessed it--the "F" word.
Kole was a chubby little cherub once upon a time. Even as a toddler his life revolved around sports, specifically basketball and football.
Kole's a teenager now but when he was still young enough to comment on his age in months, rather than years, my husband slipped.
We had an agenda on this Saturday morning. We planned to do some Christmas shopping. When you have children the first thing that flies out the window is the agenda. Unfortunately some of us are slow learners and we hadn't yet figured this out. I digress.
Sean went back to Kole's room to help him dress. Kole was playing and generally uncooperative in the dressing process. I chirped back at Sean about running late. I remember I stood at the top of the stairs waiting for a response. Instead I heard tussling, toddler giggles, and a very frustrated "F&*#" from my husband. Followed by a smaller, more gleeful "F*&#" from my young child.
Sean barked laughter.
I yelled up the hall, "I HEARD that!"
Sean then chastised Kole, still snickering.
We loaded him and all his accoutrements into the car and drove to Walmart. Sigh.
From the back seat, Kole chattered, "F*&#, f*&@, f87#" over and over again. It was like it was the only word he knew.
From the front seat I'm trying to sound calm. Each time he says "F*&#", first I swat Sean who can't stop laughing. Then I say something, anything, that begins with an "f", fudge, farmer, fart, fairy, feather and so on. By the time we reach Walmart, he's sufficiently distracted.
Halfway through the store, our cart is nearly full. There are so many people you have to pause to turn into an aisle to allow someone to leave and provide enough room to enter. Kole dropped his tippy cup. He leaned over, peered down, and practically shouted, "Oh, F*#@."
And I walked away, leaving Sean and Kole and pretending I did not know the swearing child and hysterical man. Serves him right!
Up, Up, and Awake:
Bound, coming soon!
Discovery Ski Hill, New Year's Eve 2012
George Carlin Bit Featured in Leaning
And it's Live! Just Like That!
The New Norm
Attention Self Published Authors! Submission Request!
Bound, The Sequel to Leaning
Screen Shot of Leaning on Amazon Best Sellers Page
Chronicles of a Wacky Week and a #1 Novel
Collection of Funny, Family Sayings
It's Never Too Late...
Flaws and Research